a carnival ago — white

Have you ever had one of those dreams as if an entire life has been lived overnight? A life of intricacy and depth, fully felt moments in an instant, like the promised death-show in which one’s life flashes before one’s eyes. This morning I woke up in the white building from a dream so fantastic, so real, it holds shape still and rather than disintegrating, it grows in heft so that by the time I am dressed and oft for breakfast I am struggling beneath it. The others at the table appear to be beneath something also, for when madness hits one of us, Dr. B says, it hits us all. This white building is positioned like a fallen tooth on the wide green slope against the forest on one side – do you see in it rips of colour? – and on the other side it’s like Alcatraz, the ocean a wild pit. Gaining sanity here is chemical fucking roulette.