CARNIVAL A-GO-GO

All I wanted was to be ordinary. 

The voice, worn but not tired, came from behind the curtain that separated my mother’s bed from the bed at the window, my mother was sleeping, I could pry nothing more from her and I know this is going to sound awful but I was bored, tired of all the white, even the noise was white, crepe soles whispered down the hallway white white white, there was a sort of rack of ornamental noise, things went ga and sp, rubber wheels pressed the floor, a sudden shout like what wakes you up from a dream sometimes you think it was real but it’s the opposite here, you think it’s fake, the sounds are like winter, snowballs that disintegrate mid-air, I thought I heard a cat.

But I never was.

I turned my head, my back was to the curtain, I said softly into my shoulder how so?